The aspect of self that seeks validation and approval doesn’t really want what it continuously chases. This is simply because the act of being validated or gaining approval would mean there is nothing left to seek. The part that wants doesn’t actually want what it believes it wants. It simply searches for what appears to be missing, as a way of avoiding the fear of receiving. The seeker is always afraid of receiving, which is why seeking is pursued. The energy of seeking doesn’t want what it seeks, but instead – endless opportunities to constantly crave and seek it out. Once this pattern is uncovered, it can be seen that any form of seeking is a fear of receiving. Even deeper, any fear of receiving is a life-long war against intimacy.
This is because whenever one is rooted in the act of receiving they are open, exposed, and fully surrendered to the unexpected changes of their environment. It is here, where those who have been let in to their intimate heart space have a greater chance of disappointing, rejecting, or abandoning the one who only knows validation or approval as something imagined to be gained from others. When you realize you can only gain true approval from yourself, there is no longer a war against intimacy. Once the war against intimacy has ended, there is no fear of outcome during any personal encounter or anything else to crave or chase. From this space, the heart feels safe enough to burst wide open to the innocence, honesty, and appreciation of your natural state of being. This is the grace of letting go.